I Want This Dress In Deep Rich Bottle Green

The lovely Christy  has blessed me mixedly with an award:

I now must reveal five addictions and make five other people do the same. If I'd received this award in the 80s, I'd have been honor bound to begin with my addiction to black shoes, but I am thankfully in recovery from that one. I'm more of a "propensity" type than an addiction type, but I have come up with 5 things suitable for general consumption. So, here goes.

My name is Kelly, and I’m addicted to

1. My Laptop  More precisely, I'm addicted to googling people and things that don’t do wonders for my self-esteem and compulsively checking blog comments, FB updates, and emails.

2. The Pacific Northwest  I am meant to live there. I dream of Oregon and the San Juan Islands daily, and would love to retire to a craftsman cottage in either spot and grow lots of peonies.

3. Very Nice Hotels  I’ve had insomnia issues for years, and I always sleep well in a cold, dark, quiet room on a good bed with tons of pillows. I also like to take my laptop to the bar and people watching in conjunction with addiction #1.

4. My Goofy Dog, Kaiser  He’s a pain in the ass, my husband is allergic to him, and I have to do all the work. But those eyes! And all that love!

5. Procrastination  But I will make significant progress on this one tomorrow, believe it or not, I promise!

I honor the following bloggers: Do You Realize?, What I Saw Today,  Redmolly Picayune-Democrat, Cheerio Road, and The Savvy Navigator

Harvest

Today, Small Child and I saw our first V of geese.

A few days ago, a beautiful, giant full moon hung low in the sky.

Here and there, leaves go golden.

The squirrels have been frantic for a couple of weeks, and Large Dog has been in what can only be described as a manic state.

And exactly one year ago tonight, I wrote a post that ended with the words, “I wish it would rain,” words that crossed my mind endlessly today as my feet crunched across dry grass on cracked earth.

All signs point to autumn. To fall. To harvest.

But I’m anxious.

I have not been tending my garden lately. Since I began blogging 18 months ago, I’ve sown many seeds (consciously and otherwise). I grew weary of carrying water when the rains stopped. I’ve veered off into the easy subjects, partisan politics, sentiment-at-hand. 

Honestly? I’m not even sure I remember what seeds I threw in which direction. I didn’t keep good records. Some plants looked promising but withered in the brutal summer sun. Others I just abandoned, too busy to water. Entire sections fell to mysterious blight. I put a few seed packets down and forgot about them; plants sprouted right out of the paper. The months have been that way.

The months have been so much that way that often many go by without a glance at the garden. But autumn forces the gaze.

Some of those seeds have grown into plants I really can’t ignore any longer, the kind that crack walkways, ruin foundations, choke out desirable species. The tough, spiny ones that can live without irrigation or attention. It’s time for me to face my fear of runaway vegetation. Gotta thin, prune, mulch.

I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way. You only have to flip on the news or walk through a store to hear uneasiness, fear, and worry.

But not all gardeners have been dithering or wringing their hands. I admire their work.

One is seeing her children through transitions joyous and painful, making enormous sacrifices yet still finding time to laugh, play, create and be a wonderful friend.

Another has, in what most find a daunting economic climate, listened to his heart and birthed a second successful business that feeds his soul.

Yet another, who completely plowed under a marriage of many years and lost much in the process, found not only freedom but also a second go at love and parenthood.

Finally, a friend and fabulous writer with talent and discipline and wit persevered right into a two-book deal.

It’s been a heavy year, friends. I don’t know what I’m going to find out there when I pull on my gloves, pick up the shovel, and start digging. Somehow, I don’t think I’ll find succulent autumn vegetables, as much as I adore them.

Whatever I find, I’ll do my best to make it relevant and readable. If not, you can always toss it in the compost.

Mem-ennui

I was tagged for this meme by Lori, the fabby voice behind Do You Realize? As you know, I’m not a big meme fan, but when the well is dry at least they give me something to post.

I keep thinking one of these things will blast some creativity back into me.

Here are the rules:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning of the post.

2. Players answer the questions about themselves in their posts.
3. At the end of the post, the players then tag 5-6 people, post their names, then go to their blogs and leave them comments, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read their site.
4. Finally, new players must let the person who tagged them know when they’ve posted their answers.

And Now, The Questions:

What was I doing ten years ago?
 Trying to get pregnant. And, no, it wasn’t particularly fun. A diagnosis of “unexplained infertility” (i.e. you’ve waited too damn long to breed) means tests. Lots of them. My favorite? The one designed to prove that The Man’s sperm could actually penetrate eggs. How do they determine this? Turn ‘em loose in a Petri dish with a mess ‘o hamster eggs. FYI: the boys performed with flying colors. That test is at least worth a giggle. Driving up I5 for an insemination with a specimen cup of jiz in your bra? Not so much.

What are five things on my to do list for today? 
 Take my mother to chemotherapy. De-clutter the downstairs (I can dream, right?). Cook real food for dinner. Maintain composure when Small Child complains of boredom. Be exceedingly firm with washing machine repair people about the new motor that should have been here by now.

Snacks I enjoy? 
Hummus. Donuts. Fresh berries, peaches, cherries, and pineapple. Sno-cones.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire? 
I know I should go all noble and say I’d save the world (and if I were going to do that I would do whatever it took to insure that the next six folks appointed to the Supreme Court would be chosen by Democratic presidents, but that might take a bit more cash). Since we’re indulging in total fantasy here I’m going to be selfish. Without a doubt, the first thing I would do would be dump my cursed minivan. I hate that thing. Ever practical, I’d also pay off debt, set aside college money, and hire a trainer and a cook. Then I’d buy a house in Ashland and a cottage in the San Juans. With the next billion (no one said how many, after all), I’d pick up something in New Mexico and in rural Scotland. Then I’d do some serious traveling.

Three of my bad habits? 
 I’m messy. I have little self-discipline. I bite my nails.

Five places I have lived? 
 In a Texas suburban 50s tract house; in a turn-of-the century parsonage that became a hay barn and then became our house for the first 11 years I was married; in a 3 BR 60s ranch-style attached to a very large house , both overlooking a beautiful Oregon lake; in a cabin at 11,000 feet in the Colorado Rockies; in a too-big colonial with a funky little basement and a gorgeous yard (except for the fire ants).

Five jobs I have had? Cashier at a T.G.& Y., cocktail waitress, public relations writer, literature and writing professor, student affairs administrator.

How did you name your blog? After a phrase in a Frank O’Hara poem I read for the first time on the day I decided to start a blog.

Okay. Tagging. Does it say how many we have to tag? I fail. I’m at a real disadvantage here, as two of the folks I’d normally tag have already posted this meme. I am far too shy to tag a stranger, and I hate to bother people when I’ve never seen memes on their blogs. So I’m backed into a corner. I’ll tag What I Saw Today and Old Roman Symbol. As always, I’d love to hear from anyone!

Back, with company

...in the form of some nasty virus. I think only two of us have been whacked, and our maladies may not even be related. But I have about as much energy as a wrung out dishcloth, so you'll have to wait a few days for a complete recap of the women's weekend.

Some points:

• We made collage necklaces, under the direction of Do You Realize? Curiously, I was even more anxious about necklace construction than I was about last year's painting experiment. I'm sure I drove DYR crazy with my constant need for pathetic reinforcement.

• After all that, I emerged with two pieces I love. And apparently left at the hotel. I called today and they had not been found. I keep telling myself "All is impermanence. All is impermanence." But I keep thinking "Damn it! I want to wear those suckers."

• We completed two writing prompts, and the results were grand. If I can collect the Moleskine books we wrote in, I'm going to put the pieces from one prompt up on the blog.

• Despite several bottles of red wine in the suite, most of us stuck to vodka and grapefruit juice. Go figure.

• Sunday I left the cocoon to get a spontaneous haircut and do a bit of shopping, and my Obama car magnet was stolen. Ripped right off the minivan in the mall parking lot. What a sad, sad thing.

• For the first time in my life, I fell asleep during a massage. And did so again after I turned over. That massage therapist is amazing.

• I do not understand how DYR can put that much brown sugar in her oatmeal and stay so skinny. It defies all logic.

June 2, 2008 update: The necklaces were tucked away in my suitcase after all! 

iReply

Thanks to my friend over at Do You Realize? for telling me about the iReply Movement. It's a very simple, civil concept.

If you comment on my blog I will reply, either via email or in the comments section, as soon as possible.

No one is more aware than I am of my lack of comment-worthy posts over the last few months. So, if you're new to this blog, may I suggest a few of my favorites (in chronological order)?

* Nostalgia-rama
* Ego, Superego, and iPod
* Immersion
* Island of the Broken....Siblings
* Three-Legged Race
* Shhh...Don't Tell
* "Dark and silent, late last night, I think I might have heard the highway calling, geese in flight..."
* Rain Should Fall Tonight

Perhaps your comments shall stir me into production.

BTW, Do You Realize? is offering several days of cool give-aways to celebrate her blogiversary. Click on over and pay her a visit...but you have to comment to have a chance at the goodies!