I Want This Dress In Deep Rich Bottle Green

The lovely Christy  has blessed me mixedly with an award:

I now must reveal five addictions and make five other people do the same. If I'd received this award in the 80s, I'd have been honor bound to begin with my addiction to black shoes, but I am thankfully in recovery from that one. I'm more of a "propensity" type than an addiction type, but I have come up with 5 things suitable for general consumption. So, here goes.

My name is Kelly, and I’m addicted to

1. My Laptop  More precisely, I'm addicted to googling people and things that don’t do wonders for my self-esteem and compulsively checking blog comments, FB updates, and emails.

2. The Pacific Northwest  I am meant to live there. I dream of Oregon and the San Juan Islands daily, and would love to retire to a craftsman cottage in either spot and grow lots of peonies.

3. Very Nice Hotels  I’ve had insomnia issues for years, and I always sleep well in a cold, dark, quiet room on a good bed with tons of pillows. I also like to take my laptop to the bar and people watching in conjunction with addiction #1.

4. My Goofy Dog, Kaiser  He’s a pain in the ass, my husband is allergic to him, and I have to do all the work. But those eyes! And all that love!

5. Procrastination  But I will make significant progress on this one tomorrow, believe it or not, I promise!

I honor the following bloggers: Do You Realize?, What I Saw Today,  Redmolly Picayune-Democrat, Cheerio Road, and The Savvy Navigator

Twenty Questions

I find myself, this lovely Saturday, with exactly zero resources. How convenient, then, that Molly has so graciously tagged me and solved my content crisis. 

• People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question. (note, you’ll need to pull the list of questions from Molly's site if you want to see which one I switched out. But I'll save you the trouble... I didn't change any because doing so would take energy that I do not have. My slug-like state also explains the fairly boring quality of my answers. Some days are like that.).
• Tag 8 people to do this quiz.
  

1. How many songs are on your iPod? 2796

2. What music would you want played at your funeral? Depends on my mood. Today I'd say "Goodbye" (Emmylou Harris and Steve Earle) "Court and Spark," (Joni Mitchell) "Tangled Up in Blue," (Bob Dylan) "Alison," (Elvis Costello) "Sleeping in Paris," (Roseanne Cash) and "Ventura," (Lucinda Williams). By the way, I have other genres and other decades in my repertoire; these just suit the mood.

I've had better weeks.

3. To what magazines do you subscribe? These magazines come every month and go unread: Vanity Fair, Texas Monthly, Food and Wine, Travel and Leisure, Gourmet, TNR (online). Recently Lapsed: New Yorker, Reason, BrainChild

4. What is your favorite scent? Lavender, sandalwood, cinnamon, Niven-Morgan "Gold" and Bulgari "the' vert"

5. If you had a million dollars that you could only spend on yourself, what would you do with it? Practically? Retire debt and start saving for a craftsman cottage in the San Juan Islands. Bitterly? Personal trainer, cook, plastic surgery, legal fees. Fantasy wise? That craftsman cottage.

6. What is your theme song? Probably "Left of Center," by Suzanne Vega or "Fruits of My Labors," by Lucinda Williams

7. Do you trust easily? Far too.

8. Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think? In action, it's often way too much of the former, and I miss the good stuff; in conversation, alas, it's usually the latter.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days? She laughs until she cries about this one, waiting for the world to shift on micro and macro levels.

10. Do you have a good body-image? Of course not. 

11. Is being tagged fun? Of course.

12. How do you spend your social networking (Facebook, etc.) time? Being geeky and hoping I do not appear so.

13. What have you been seriously addicted to lately? Email, iced coffee, and political blogs I find depressing.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is? Creative, smart, dedicated, and an outstanding mother. Oh, I forgot... she's lucky enough to live in America's finest city.

15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head? A song Small Child and I created to celebrate Large Dog's propensity to uncover and consume cat poo. We are an alternative lyrics household.

16. What’s your favorite item of clothing? I don't like much of anything in my closet right now, thank you economy. The most reliable things, however, are a black jersey skirt that falls swingily just below the knee and my Dansko clogs... not together, of course.

17. Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy? No.

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground? Pick it up. Get a massage.

19. What items could you not go without during the day? Laptop. Iced Coffee. Protein. NPR.

20. What should you be doing right now? I'm trying to change my thinking, to believe that whatever I am doing is what I should be doing. But I'm still a child of the western world. So here is my Should list. Facing Reality. Buying groceries. Tackling one of many organizational challenges. Working on my Beatnik costume for a party tonight. Checking on my mother. 

I tag Lori, What I Saw Today, Old Roman Symbol, Her Other Evil Twin, and Juvenesence. I know that's not 8, but I have a small circle. Participation is optional; no calamity will befall you if you choose not to participate.

Mem-ennui

I was tagged for this meme by Lori, the fabby voice behind Do You Realize? As you know, I’m not a big meme fan, but when the well is dry at least they give me something to post.

I keep thinking one of these things will blast some creativity back into me.

Here are the rules:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning of the post.

2. Players answer the questions about themselves in their posts.
3. At the end of the post, the players then tag 5-6 people, post their names, then go to their blogs and leave them comments, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read their site.
4. Finally, new players must let the person who tagged them know when they’ve posted their answers.

And Now, The Questions:

What was I doing ten years ago?
 Trying to get pregnant. And, no, it wasn’t particularly fun. A diagnosis of “unexplained infertility” (i.e. you’ve waited too damn long to breed) means tests. Lots of them. My favorite? The one designed to prove that The Man’s sperm could actually penetrate eggs. How do they determine this? Turn ‘em loose in a Petri dish with a mess ‘o hamster eggs. FYI: the boys performed with flying colors. That test is at least worth a giggle. Driving up I5 for an insemination with a specimen cup of jiz in your bra? Not so much.

What are five things on my to do list for today? 
 Take my mother to chemotherapy. De-clutter the downstairs (I can dream, right?). Cook real food for dinner. Maintain composure when Small Child complains of boredom. Be exceedingly firm with washing machine repair people about the new motor that should have been here by now.

Snacks I enjoy? 
Hummus. Donuts. Fresh berries, peaches, cherries, and pineapple. Sno-cones.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire? 
I know I should go all noble and say I’d save the world (and if I were going to do that I would do whatever it took to insure that the next six folks appointed to the Supreme Court would be chosen by Democratic presidents, but that might take a bit more cash). Since we’re indulging in total fantasy here I’m going to be selfish. Without a doubt, the first thing I would do would be dump my cursed minivan. I hate that thing. Ever practical, I’d also pay off debt, set aside college money, and hire a trainer and a cook. Then I’d buy a house in Ashland and a cottage in the San Juans. With the next billion (no one said how many, after all), I’d pick up something in New Mexico and in rural Scotland. Then I’d do some serious traveling.

Three of my bad habits? 
 I’m messy. I have little self-discipline. I bite my nails.

Five places I have lived? 
 In a Texas suburban 50s tract house; in a turn-of-the century parsonage that became a hay barn and then became our house for the first 11 years I was married; in a 3 BR 60s ranch-style attached to a very large house , both overlooking a beautiful Oregon lake; in a cabin at 11,000 feet in the Colorado Rockies; in a too-big colonial with a funky little basement and a gorgeous yard (except for the fire ants).

Five jobs I have had? Cashier at a T.G.& Y., cocktail waitress, public relations writer, literature and writing professor, student affairs administrator.

How did you name your blog? After a phrase in a Frank O’Hara poem I read for the first time on the day I decided to start a blog.

Okay. Tagging. Does it say how many we have to tag? I fail. I’m at a real disadvantage here, as two of the folks I’d normally tag have already posted this meme. I am far too shy to tag a stranger, and I hate to bother people when I’ve never seen memes on their blogs. So I’m backed into a corner. I’ll tag What I Saw Today and Old Roman Symbol. As always, I’d love to hear from anyone!

I Don't Sleep, I Dream

As promised, here’s a meme to tide you over during my paralytic hiatus. I resist memes, because I worry that readers will consider me the bloggic version of an email chain letter about angels or something. I stole this one from Molly, though, because her version was so damned entertaining; mine isn't, so much.

I’ve tried to complete it about five times, most recently a week ago. It was oh so hard not to cheat and move things around and redo it five or six times like a monkey in a room with a typewriter trying to replicate Faulkner's novels. Nothing like a procrastinating writer.   Yesterday, I forced myself to work with the most recent version, painstakingly looking up lyrics and excerpting the most poignant snippets. Then I thought, "What a barf-worthy load of crap."

F*uck it, it’s a meme, what?

I have happy music on my iPod, too! I am not suicidal, nor am I on the brink of divorce (that I know of). But it was kind of a glum day when I created that list. And the songs reinforced my moody blues, although none of them were by that band. Who needs that?

So I switched from my iPod to “Party Shuffle” in iTunes and decided to leave the analysis up to you. You’ll find some odd stuff here, at least one song I haven’t ever heard, covers by odd singers, and more Elvis Costello than you might expect. And returning readers know that I am married and have a child, rendering those questions ambiguous, at best.

Wanna play? Here are the rules... Please let me know if you decide to participate. I am tagging Lori, What I Saw Today, and Old Roman Symbol. You’re It! Or should it be “You All Are Them”?

1. Put your music player on shuffle. 

2. Press forward with each question. 

3. Use the song title as the answer to the question - EVEN if it doesn't make any sense whatsoever - NO CHEATING!!!

For each question, I’ve included the song title and artist that iTunes belched up as a "response." Make of this what you will.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? 
 “Burned” Neil Young

WHAT'S YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE?
 “Fallen” k.d. lang

WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOU? “Atomic” Blondie

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU “Goin’ Nowhere” Chris Isaak

WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU?
 “Your Smilin’ Face” James Taylor

WHAT DO YOUR EXES THINK OF YOU?
 “Like an Angel Passing Through” Anne Sofie von Otter and Elvis Costello

HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE? “The Sire of Sorrow (Job’s Sad Song)” Joni Mitchell

HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE FUTURE?
 “Shower the People” James Taylor

WILL YOU GET MARRIED? “Coming Back to You” Jennifer Warnes

WILL YOU HAVE KIDS?
”Lonely Girls” Lucinda Williams

ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL? “I Wanna Be Loved” Elvis Costello and the Attractions

WILL YOU BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE? “On Your Shore” Charlotte Martin

WHAT SONGS SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY? 
 “Whatever It Is” Drew Phelps

WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? “Joy to the World” Three Dog Night

THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE? “All I Want is You” U2

YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE ...? “Heart Full of Holes” Mark Knopfler

HAPPY TIMES?
”She” Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians

SAD TIMES? “Compensation” Nina Simone

EVERYDAY? “Mommy Daddy You and I” Talking Heads

FOR TOMORROW? “Flutter and Wow” Elvis Costello

FOR YOU? “Getting to Know You” James Taylor

WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME?  “So Long Marianne” Leonard Cohen

WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS HARD? “L.A. Freeway” Jerry Jeff Walker

WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING? “Red Dirt Girl” Emmylou Harris

WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER?
 “Tragedy” Emmylou Harris

YOUR FAVORITE SAYING?
 “Peace in Our Time” Elvis Costello and the Attractions

THE SONG YOU WILL PUT AS YOUR SUBJECT? “I Don’t Sleep, I Dream” R.E.M. (Full disclosure: this is the only place I cheated. “Pieces of April” by Three Dog Night came up, but who would read a post with that title?)

Paralytic Hiatus

Stick with me, pals.

I've been smacked upside the head with the moody blues. Glum, foggy-headed funk.  Hot, humid, lethargic word-cement.

Inspired by Christy of Juvenescence and Lithia Writers' Collective, I'm going to attack the block from a different direction and attempt to put together a room of my own, physically and emotionally. One with a door I can close.  Click here for some excellent examples.

I may post a meme or two in the next few days, just to keep my fingers busy.  If you need things to read, do check out my blog links, as I've added a couple. Her Other Evil Twin is a true mystery woman. While I've never met the author of RedMolly Picayune-Democrat face-to-face, I figure -  in the blogosphere - one degree of separation qualifies. I attended public school with Old Roman Symbol from second through twelfth grade, but haven't seen him since 1977 (same with  What I Saw Today....maybe a reunion would shake things up?).

I think this is probably Texas' version of Seasonal Affective Disorder.  I once read an article about summer sufferers, including one woman who went to bed each night with two-liter Pepsi-bottles full of water she'd frozen to keep the night sweats at bay.  Not a bad plan at all.

In Which I Give In to the Meme

I found out that, even if I did order the second Miss Mac (will she be my Trophy Mac?) with priority shipping, she might not arrive before I was ready to point The Family Truckster west. And, try as I might, I simply can't write - really write - on this humongous Man Dell XPS. It's just cumbersome.

And I could not play Photo Hunt this week because all my pics were on my stolen machine.

So what is there left but to succumb to Meme Fever?

I have resisted meme-ing (is that a word?) because it looks like the PERFECT form of procrastination. I mean, I'd be writing wouldn't I? And I never wanted this blog to be the Chronicles of Me.

But stuck here in the Embassy Suites, sipping a bourbon and water from the "complimentary manager's reception," it just feels right.

So I'm giving in to Seven Random Things About Me.

Readers, forgive me. I know not what I do.

1. I like espresso drinks lightly sweet, but any trace of sugar in regular coffee makes me gag.

2. I am a recovering black shoe addict.

3. I go internally ballistic when people mispronounce words, but only if they should know better.

4. I love cold weather, so much so that one winter when money was tight and I needed a new dress coat I decided to go without on the principle that going coatless in the record cold would help me lose weight.

5. I know now, more than ever, that all those vocational aptitude tests we took in school were right; I should have been a lawyer.

6. I have absolutely no interest in ever reading a science fiction or fantasy novel.

7. I, very briefly, had a very mean Shetland pony when I was a little girl.

I really don't know how to tag people. But I hope some of you will tell me seven random things about yourselves via the comments below!