Saturday, July 12, 2008

Collated and Stapled

From the instant I opened my eyes this morning, it's been a train wreck kind of day. Wait. Let's change perspective. I'm supposed to believe in the power of language, right?

Revision: Today has been a delightful comedy of errors.

Hmmmm....not quite sure that worked, but it was worth a try.

You know those enormously powerful staple guns that builders use?  I found one of the staples in my (flat) left rear van tire this morning as I was leaving to take Large Dog to the boarding kennel. We shall make the Deflating Staple the emblem of the day.

A gnat cloud of errands later, I spent most of the afternoon packing Small Child's delightful,varied, colorful summer wardrobe. Were children's clothes that cute during the Cold War? No.

This evening I turned to my closet. Seeing my clothes laid glumly out in one place was, frankly, kind of funeral. I definitely need a change. My wardrobe is mostly monochromatic, drab, blend-into-the-foliage stuff. I think all those episode of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom I watched during my childhood seared the idea of the drab female into my brain. 

But those were females in their reproductive years, right? (I'm going to conveniently forget the fact that most females in the wild kingdom don't outlive their reproductive years). Now that I'm embarking on a new stage of life, perhaps it is time to set aside my black skirts and pants and plain, solid colored, deep earth toned tops. 

I think menopause should come with a month at a spa and a 5K* shopping spree. 

Hopefully I'll have time to post while I'm in California next week.  If not, see you when I return.

*Shoes, lingerie, sleepwear, workout clothes, jewelry, makeup, and other accessories not included. These items will require an additional stipend.

1 comment:

Christy Raedeke said...

I'll second the wardrobe issues. How many blousy white linen shirts does one woman need? It's my version of the muu muu. AND I had a flat tire this week. Sheet metal screw - go figure. Are we living parallel lives? Let's hope not, or you might find yourself the target of a deer missile (see
Have a fabulous vacation! Maybe anorexic MOL will take you on a shopping spree! (One can dream...)