Monday, June 30, 2008

Mem-ennui

I was tagged for this meme by Lori, the fabby voice behind Do You Realize? As you know, I’m not a big meme fan, but when the well is dry at least they give me something to post.

I keep thinking one of these things will blast some creativity back into me.

Here are the rules:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning of the post.
2. Players answer the questions about themselves in their posts.
3. At the end of the post, the players then tag 5-6 people, post their names, then go to their blogs and leave them comments, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read their site.
4. Finally, new players must let the person who tagged them know when they’ve posted their answers.

And Now, The Questions:

What was I doing ten years ago?
 Trying to get pregnant. And, no, it wasn’t particularly fun. A diagnosis of “unexplained infertility” (i.e. you’ve waited too damn long to breed) means tests. Lots of them. My favorite? The one designed to prove that The Man’s sperm could actually penetrate eggs. How do they determine this? Turn ‘em loose in a Petri dish with a mess ‘o hamster eggs. FYI: the boys performed with flying colors. That test is at least worth a giggle. Driving up I5 for an insemination with a specimen cup of jiz in your bra? Not so much.

What are five things on my to do list for today? 
 Take my mother to chemotherapy. De-clutter the downstairs (I can dream, right?). Cook real food for dinner. Maintain composure when Small Child complains of boredom. Be exceedingly firm with washing machine repair people about the new motor that should have been here by now.

Snacks I enjoy? 
Hummus. Donuts. Fresh berries, peaches, cherries, and pineapple. Sno-cones.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire? 
I know I should go all noble and say I’d save the world (and if I were going to do that I would do whatever it took to insure that the next six folks appointed to the Supreme Court would be chosen by Democratic presidents, but that might take a bit more cash). Since we’re indulging in total fantasy here I’m going to be selfish. Without a doubt, the first thing I would do would be dump my cursed minivan. I hate that thing. Ever practical, I’d also pay off debt, set aside college money, and hire a trainer and a cook. Then I’d buy a house in Ashland and a cottage in the San Juans. With the next billion (no one said how many, after all), I’d pick up something in New Mexico and in rural Scotland. Then I’d do some serious traveling.

Three of my bad habits? 
 I’m messy. I have little self-discipline. I bite my nails.

Five places I have lived? 
 In a Texas suburban 50s tract house; in a turn-of-the century parsonage that became a hay barn and then became our house for the first 11 years I was married; in a 3 BR 60s ranch-style attached to a very large house , both overlooking a beautiful Oregon lake; in a cabin at 11,000 feet in the Colorado Rockies; in a too-big colonial with a funky little basement and a gorgeous yard (except for the fire ants).

Five jobs I have had? Cashier at a T.G.& Y., cocktail waitress, public relations writer, literature and writing professor, student affairs administrator.

How did you name your blog? After a phrase in a Frank O’Hara poem I read for the first time on the day I decided to start a blog.

Okay. Tagging. Does it say how many we have to tag? I fail. I’m at a real disadvantage here, as two of the folks I’d normally tag have already posted this meme. I am far too shy to tag a stranger, and I hate to bother people when I’ve never seen memes on their blogs. So I’m backed into a corner. I’ll tag What I Saw Today and Old Roman Symbol. As always, I’d love to hear from anyone!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Done.

Anonymous said...

Happy that I knew a lot of this. :-)

Wide Lawns said...

Hamster eggs? For real? Human sperm will penetrate hamster eggs? Can you imagine for a moment the result of that pairing? Think of all the hummus and doughnuts you could fit in your cheeks if you were half hamster.

Kelly Hudgins said...

ORS: You are a cagey meme-er.

Lori: We don't hold much back, do we?

Wide Lawns: I know...imagine begin naturally selected for your ability to pack it away!